Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Long Time, No Write

With the new job and the move, I have been unable to do any writing beyond a quick Facebook post here and there. I still haven't restarted my research, and while that isn't the end of the world, it isn't good either. I'm still overwhelmed. Part of that is my car acting up. Part of it is that Spawn is taking only one nap a day. When he is up, I accomplish nothing in the way of work. When I go to work, I accomplish a few tasks but then end up chatting with someone, or several someones. This is good in that I am building friendships with my co-workers, but it is also frustrating because I never seem to get ahead.

I miss writing.

In an attempt to kickstart myself, I have been editing my vampire slayer series. I have put my heart and soul into it, and I think I can probably find a home for it. It's just...I put so much of myself into it, that I'm afraid of someone mistreating it. What if the cover is terrible? What if it doesn't sell? What if it does sell and people send me hate mail because of how gory and graphic it is?

My first book isn't doing so hot, and that is mostly on my shoulders for doing a poor job of promoting it. Even if I had the time to so it, I'm not a "Toot-My-Own-Horn" kind of person. I'm not even that worried about sales. Anyone who gets into writing for money is an idiot. I just want people to read my stuff, and while I have a few friends who are willing to read it, that doesn't really get my work out there for many people to read. I just fell like, "Dammit, Jim! I'm a mathematician, not a marketing manager!"  

It is almost as if I am afraid of failure and success.

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