Good Sign?

The chair asked me to be on a search committee for a new position in our department. It is safe to say this means they plan to keep me at least one more year?

::happy dance::

This week is going to be hell.

I have four meetings, prep for job performance review, a test to give and grade, homework to grade, and 12 presentations to grade.

All I want to do is write.

I finally made it through re-editing the sixth book of my vampire slayer series and sent it to my former office mate. She is nuts about them, and the fact that she is makes me think other people would be, too. This is why I keep going back to them.

I've been going through the seventh book. I finally, FINALLY got through a chapter that had me stuck. It is hard - knowing where you want to go but being stuck. Camellia is stuck in Memphis, and until I figure out how to get her out of there, the story is going to irk me. Ah well, I'll get through it.

Next, I will re-edit my epic fantasy, and then, back to Cameron and the best damned thing I've ever written.  But well, not this week.

Works in the Works

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I have been re-editing my vampire slayer series. I'm back to book six. I've written about half of book seven, but unhappy with where it was going, I left it. I imagine something similar will happen once I finish book six and give it another look. I know where I want to the story to go; I just can't seem to get there.

The problem with the series is that the first book isn't the best. There is a lot of world building and character development that had to occur, and that makes the story drag at times. With that out of the way, the other books are action-packed. Fluffy has often said that if the series started with book two, it would be better. Unfortunately, without book one, nothing else makes sense. Other than this year's heavy-handed edit, I don't think there is much else I can do to fix it.

It has been a while since I sent out queries for it. I've heard the advice that often, you just have to shelve a project, maybe forever. It's hard to let go of something that you have worked on so hard and for so long. I could try sending out more queries for it. Maybe 4 years is long enough since the last round.

I think my publisher would publish it, but the problem with that is that they are a mainly ebook company. While that gets the book out there more quickly, it makes it more difficult for people to acquire paper copies of the book. I had dreams that a big-time publisher would go for something of mine. Maybe that dream is too big, or maybe I just haven't written the right book yet. I'd like to find an agent, but to get an agent, you have to have something they want. I think I have a product that readers want; I just can't find the right agent.

I have an epic romantic fantasy I've written. Several people (men) have read it. I think it has potential, but again, maybe it isn't marketable. I'm waiting for a bit more feedback before I send off queries for it.

For now, I'll keep editing and preparing a packet for job performance review. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that I'm not an author by profession but simply by love of doing it.

Long Time, No Write

With the new job and the move, I have been unable to do any writing beyond a quick Facebook post here and there. I still haven't restarted my research, and while that isn't the end of the world, it isn't good either. I'm still overwhelmed. Part of that is my car acting up. Part of it is that Spawn is taking only one nap a day. When he is up, I accomplish nothing in the way of work. When I go to work, I accomplish a few tasks but then end up chatting with someone, or several someones. This is good in that I am building friendships with my co-workers, but it is also frustrating because I never seem to get ahead.

I miss writing.

In an attempt to kickstart myself, I have been editing my vampire slayer series. I have put my heart and soul into it, and I think I can probably find a home for it. It's just...I put so much of myself into it, that I'm afraid of someone mistreating it. What if the cover is terrible? What if it doesn't sell? What if it does sell and people send me hate mail because of how gory and graphic it is?

My first book isn't doing so hot, and that is mostly on my shoulders for doing a poor job of promoting it. Even if I had the time to so it, I'm not a "Toot-My-Own-Horn" kind of person. I'm not even that worried about sales. Anyone who gets into writing for money is an idiot. I just want people to read my stuff, and while I have a few friends who are willing to read it, that doesn't really get my work out there for many people to read. I just fell like, "Dammit, Jim! I'm a mathematician, not a marketing manager!"  

It is almost as if I am afraid of failure and success.