Showing posts with label Beth Bishop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beth Bishop. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Transferring Data...
I'm an author, and apparently, I need a website. So, I am in the process of moving over to wordpress. My new site is here. I'm sure I will neglect that site just as much as I do this one. You have my condolences.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Book Two of the Camellia Series is out today!
Get your copy of BLOOMING ROSEGARTEN
Eternal Press has all ebook formats and paperback. To get BLOOMING ROSEGARTEN for Nook, choose ePub format at checkout.
You can get the first book in the series, WILD ROSEGARTEN, via any of the links in this blog post.
- from Amazon
- from B&N (paperback only)
- from my publisher at Eternal Press (use code 61NF17DV2LEX to get the book 50% off)
Eternal Press has all ebook formats and paperback. To get BLOOMING ROSEGARTEN for Nook, choose ePub format at checkout.
You can get the first book in the series, WILD ROSEGARTEN, via any of the links in this blog post.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Book Updates
BLOOMING ROSEGARTEN, Book 2 of the Camellia series comes out April first!
"I haven't read book one," you say.
We must certainly fix that!
Get WILD ROSEGARTEN (book 1 of the Camellia series)
Eternal Press has all ebook formats and paperback. To get WILD ROSEGARTEN for Nook, choose ePub format at checkout.
"I haven't read book one," you say.
We must certainly fix that!
Get WILD ROSEGARTEN (book 1 of the Camellia series)
- from Amazon
- from B&N (paperback only)
- or direct from my publisher at Eternal Press (use code 61NF17DV2L to get the book 50% off)
Eternal Press has all ebook formats and paperback. To get WILD ROSEGARTEN for Nook, choose ePub format at checkout.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Where to get WILD ROSEGARTEN for Nook
Since B&N is lagging behind on carrying the ebook version of WILD ROSEGARTEN, take advantage of my publisher's discount and get my book for Nook at 50% off.
Visit http://www.eternalpress.biz/book.php?isbn=9781629292199
Enter code 61NF17DV2L and select the ePub format at checkout. Enjoy the savings and the book!
Visit http://www.eternalpress.biz/book.php?isbn=9781629292199
Enter code 61NF17DV2L and select the ePub format at checkout. Enjoy the savings and the book!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Book Bargains!
Eternal Press has all books (all ebook formats and paperback) on sale. Use code 61NF17DV2L to get 50% off. This includes my books!!
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
All Romance eBooks Recommends WILD ROSEGARTEN!
https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-wildrosegarten-1733737-143.html
Get your copy there or soon available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble in ebook format or paperback.
Get your copy there or soon available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble in ebook format or paperback.
Monday, January 19, 2015
I'm on Spotlight Sunday
Fellow EP author Stephanie O'Hanlon did a write-up about Fairest. Check out her article and her website!
Spotlight Sunday
Spotlight Sunday
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Waiting (a different time)
During the hours
that I sat in the waiting room for Oncology, I studied dream interpretation. I
bought several books on the subject, and while the doctors radiated my mother,
I read about symbolism. The waiting room was large, so large that I could sit
alone and never worry that anyone would need to sit next to me. I always sat in
the section away from the TV and close to the refreshment center. I kept to
myself and spoke to no one. I just read until the nurse called me to go out and
pull the car around for my mother.
One Thursday, a
woman sat next to me, which forced me stop reading and acknowledge her. She smiled
and pointed to my book. “Dream
interpretation,” she said. “Sounds
neat.”
“It can be,” I said.
We introduced
ourselves and began a lengthy conversation on the symbolism of colors and
numbers.
After talking for
about ten minutes, she told me that she moved her father in with her family so
she could take care of him, her husband, and her three kids. Bone cancer. Even
now, I still wince at the thought of it. Not as bad as pancreatic, liver, or
colon cancers but bad, very hard to treat, usually fatal. He was to the point
where he had to wear a neck brace all the time. It was the first time that I
was ever thankful for the type of cancer my mother had.
For the next week,
she brought her father at the same time I brought my mother, and we talked
about dreams and cancer. I feel a bit ashamed that I can’t remember her name, especially
since I remember her dreams. They were normal dreams about every day sorts of
things with the exception that she was always dragging a heavy black garbage
bag. About the time he reached the point where he could no longer care for
himself, her father began throwing all his trash down the ravine behind his
house. The hillside was strewn with black garbage bags of trash, and this woman
and her husband had to clean it all up before they could sell the house. She
was angry and burdened, and those feelings made her feel guilty. After talking
about it, she felt better and joked that I ought to charge her for my
time.
Near the end of
that week, her father’s white count was too low for him to receive more
treatments. After that, I never saw her again, but one of the nurses, who
overheard our conversations, commented to me that I was a sweet girl for
talking to her. Her father’s prognosis
was poor, and I had likely eased her guilt about the situation.
Of the meeting, my
mother said, “God works in mysterious ways.”
I replied, “Of
course He does. If He didn’t, we would all understand everything, and there
would be no cancer.”
“You know I
believe that everything happens for a reason,” she said.
“Yeah, well, why
do you think you got cancer?”
She shrugged. “Maybe
to bring you and your father closer together.”
“That’s fucked
up,” I said, to which she snapped at me for cursing. “I think you got cancer
because you grew up in a city before there was any regulation on what toxins
industries to pump into the air, and you went to college in a town where the
morning air was so filled with chemicals it was yellow.”
“And I didn’t wear
sunscreen like I should,” she added. “Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes things just
break.”
So I thought, Even God answers his children's questions with, "Because." It's not an answer at all, so why bother asking?
Monday, December 8, 2014
Waiting
I sat in Endoscopy, my nose shoved in a book, while I waited for the
ass doctor to look in Fluffy's ass. I heard the door open, close, open,
close. Couples murmured as the patient filled out forms and the driver
commented on how neat it was that the doctor uses those restaurant
pagers to let you know he's done shoving a camera in whichever orifice
is questionable.
"You sign here."
"I'll fill that out for you."
"Here's a check for the co-pay."
"My friend went back three hours ago. They have to laser cysts out of his stomach. I hope he's okay."
"Is that coffee any good?"
"No."
Stupid idiot, asking a stupid question. I never drank anything out of a Bunn coffee maker that didn't taste like a waterlogged ashtray. Asstray.
"Pardon me."
Large man - in the tall, muscly meaning of the word - sat down next to me. Carhartt head-to-toe. He wore a class ring. I couldn't tell what school. He laughed at a bit on whatever gig Kathie Lee has now. Seth Rogan was naked. Later, something about an anaconda not eating someone and how everyone was bummed out about it.
I shifted and then sprawled my knees apart, crossed my ankles. I can take up space, too. Although, I'd like to take up less space, honestly.
I get back into the book. I was buying a red Fiero with Miriam Black when the smell hit me. I reacted. I tried not to, but I couldn't help the watering eyes, the burning nostrils. I thought the woman across from me was wearing enough perfume to cover the scent of a rotting corpse but apparently not.
She waddled down the aisle, sat down catty-cornered to me. It came in waves - the piss and shit smell of someone who is dying. I don't know how else to describe it. This is the smell of nursing homes. No matter what they do, they can never cover the smell of old people who piss and shit themselves. Her name is Candy. She can't be any less than 60, and her name is Candy, and I can smell what they will find when they stick the camera up her ass.
And hours later, I can't get it out of my nose.
"You sign here."
"I'll fill that out for you."
"Here's a check for the co-pay."
"My friend went back three hours ago. They have to laser cysts out of his stomach. I hope he's okay."
"Is that coffee any good?"
"No."
Stupid idiot, asking a stupid question. I never drank anything out of a Bunn coffee maker that didn't taste like a waterlogged ashtray. Asstray.
"Pardon me."
Large man - in the tall, muscly meaning of the word - sat down next to me. Carhartt head-to-toe. He wore a class ring. I couldn't tell what school. He laughed at a bit on whatever gig Kathie Lee has now. Seth Rogan was naked. Later, something about an anaconda not eating someone and how everyone was bummed out about it.
I shifted and then sprawled my knees apart, crossed my ankles. I can take up space, too. Although, I'd like to take up less space, honestly.
I get back into the book. I was buying a red Fiero with Miriam Black when the smell hit me. I reacted. I tried not to, but I couldn't help the watering eyes, the burning nostrils. I thought the woman across from me was wearing enough perfume to cover the scent of a rotting corpse but apparently not.
She waddled down the aisle, sat down catty-cornered to me. It came in waves - the piss and shit smell of someone who is dying. I don't know how else to describe it. This is the smell of nursing homes. No matter what they do, they can never cover the smell of old people who piss and shit themselves. Her name is Candy. She can't be any less than 60, and her name is Candy, and I can smell what they will find when they stick the camera up her ass.
And hours later, I can't get it out of my nose.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Work comes in asteroid belts.
The semester is winding down, which means its's time for the last tests, last assignments, last ditch efforts before final exams.
I am also editing like crazy. I received the ARC for the first book of the Camellia series, Wild Rosegarten. I finished going over that while also trying to get through a first round edit on the second book in the series.
Editing books and editing tests. If 24 of Ms. Birdwell's students like reading and 6 do not, what is the ratio of the number of vampires Camellia has killed to the number of men she has slept with? Makes the head spin.
I am also editing like crazy. I received the ARC for the first book of the Camellia series, Wild Rosegarten. I finished going over that while also trying to get through a first round edit on the second book in the series.
Editing books and editing tests. If 24 of Ms. Birdwell's students like reading and 6 do not, what is the ratio of the number of vampires Camellia has killed to the number of men she has slept with? Makes the head spin.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Type of Fool
I
If we had been lovers, I would’ve been a cliché – alone, lonely, the
dinner I cooked for us cooling on the table. When you said you would come, I
picked flowers from my garden. My heirloom and confederate roses, the tiny
purple blooms on the monkey grass, Gerber daisies, and day lilies I arranged in
a Mason jar. Aphids on the rose petals. You didn’t show. You didn’t call, but I
didn’t worry. You have always been flaky, flighty. I knew better than to trust,
than to depend on you, but I let myself hope. That’s what I get for loving you.
II
I wrote to you, many times –
offering help when it wasn’t requested or welcomed. Me being me, I couldn’t help
but do it, and you, being you, couldn’t help but spew bile at me. I cried for
you, wasted tears. You love your sadness too much, your protection from others.
I want you to experience joy, and you refuse. My heart breaks, over and over,
for you, and you’ll never give a damn.
III
It began as friendly arguing, batting bad philosophy
back-and-forth. What is real? What is love? What are we but a man and a woman, matter, anything that
has mass and takes up space? Elementary. I had dreams of silver eagles that
gutted and devoured nations. You liked that. You liked me until you didn’t.
You told me you’d heard enough from me for a while, to run along and play with
someone else. A true verbal slap and I hit back until whatever we were was
irreparable. Are you still a zombie, little bird? Did you finally find someone
to breathe life into you?
IV
I wanted the best for you, and I wanted you. For years, more
than anything. You told me that I was the type of woman a man falls in love
with, and that was not the type of woman for you. I used that in a story I
wrote. I could kiss you for hours and did a few times, always swallowed whole
by your eyes. Because of you, I keep my eyes open. After, I used to catch you
watching me, your eyes darting away from mine, like two north poles, repellant.
There were times I would’ve done anything for you. I would’ve strayed for you,
away from what I knew, from a life and a man that were comfortable. You knew
that, and that you didn’t take advantage showed me you were a good man. So many
times, I wished that you weren’t.
V
I would trade with you if I could, but I wouldn’t do this for you. It’s too hard, too painful.
Maybe you would change your mind if you knew, but you don’t talk to me. We’re
strangers now. It was just too much, I guess. I should try harder, but I’m just
so damned tired. So tired.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Alive
The summer before I turned 17, my family flew to Vegas. I glued my face to the window of our rental car all the
way from the airport to Bally’s. I had
never seen anything so marvelous and gaudy and utterly sinful. I fell instantly in love.
I followed my parents from casino to casino, jaw dropped, eyes
popped. I had never been crammed in
amongst so many people. This trip occurred before Vegas tried to
make anything family-friendly, so there was
nothing much for a sixteen year old to do, legally. Yet, I was never bored. I was in awe, stupefied, entranced. The day was one long adrenaline rush, and I
shivered from it.
That
night, I stood at the picture window of the room I shared with my brother. I watched the traffic, both foot and
vehicular. Synchronized floods of people
in the scorching heat of July.
I
wrote poetry about the city, about how the air was so dry that all tires
squealed, how someone was always at my father’s elbow with a drink, how the
lights of the Flamingo flashed in my brother’s dark, stoned eyes. I hadn’t felt so alone and yet not alone since
New Years in New Orleans, but this was different. It felt good.
We
left Vegas the next morning.
Five
nights later, I stood outside a cabin at Grand Canyon Village, stared into the
sky, and beheld a near-record meteor shower.
The lights in all the cabins and buildings were off, so it was utterly
dark. I stood there, holding my mother’s
hand like the child I no longer believed I was, and I made wishes because
that’s what you do when you see shooting stars.
I
felt so completely connected with everything around me, even more so than
looking over the rim of the canyon and feeling like I could catch a warm
updraft in my over-sized T-shirt and hover like the eagles and condors. I felt like I could fall forever, into the
canyon or into the sky. I felt like I
belonged, that even though I was a tiny nothing on a tiny nothing planet, I
existed and was loved. I stood there for
over an hour, with my finger pointed at the sky, and cried, and I don’t cry. It wasn't until I met Fluffy that I felt so utterly alive again.
Monday, October 27, 2014
After the three nightmares I had last night, I deserved the rom-com dream I had this morning.
I stood in a parking lot with four friends. We were waiting on a van to take us to a wedding. One of the four of us was a six-foot-tall Viking goddess with flowing blond
hair and piercing blue eyes. I was short
in this dream, about five two. She towered over me. While we waited, a guy who looked like a male
version of her drove up, parked, got out of his car, and started talking to
her. She told us she was going out with the guy. The other two women began arguing with her, saying they would much rather go out with this hunk than go to a wedding. I didn’t bother
giving them my opinion, as it was obvious my tall goddess friend belonged with
this guy.
***
The wedding was over, and we were filing into a ballroom for a sit-down
dinner. The friend who looked like Elaine from Seinfeld (and whom we called
Elaine in the dream) was already hammered.
She passed out, and the other friend and I laid her out under one of the
many white Christmas trees that were used as part of the reception decorations.
(I guess it was around Christmas. The trees were scrappy and tacky.)
A
guy stood up and started giving a toast to the bride and groom. I wasn’t paying attention to him. There was a chef nearby who was carefully
arranging food on plates before the staff delivered them to various guests, and
I was fascinated by how serious he looked arranging the food. Then my not drunk friend said, “Oh my God, [name of the guy giving the speech], you and [my name in the dream] are like the only two people
on earth who read that book!” I looked
up and the guy was staring at me like he couldn’t believe it either.
After his speech,
he came over to our table and introduced himself. He was the brother of the bride, which
surprised me since she and I had been friends since college and I had spent some
time during the summers at their river house.
He said he would have remembered me, so I must have come during the
times he was off visiting his friends.
“Yes, I must have
been," he repeated. "I would remember you.”
“Oh no.” I waved the thought away. “You’d remember our other friend though. Tall, blond, gorgeous.”
“Sure, I’d
remember that, but I think you’d stick with me.
I mean, nobody has read that book but me, until you.” (And it was something stupid, like a tell-all
by Regis and Kathy Lee.) He was giving
me the cutest smile and tickling the back of my hand with his fingers. “So, why didn’t your friend come?”
“She got a
date. Guy pulls up to the curb in front
of the four of us and just asks her.”
“He didn’t ask
you?”
I blinked at
him. “Well, no. Why would he ask me when he could ask her, and she said yes?”
He shook his head
and sat back so my meal could be served.
As I cut into my steak, he said, “What do you have planned after this?”
I furrowed my brow
and laughed at him. “Nothing. Why do you ask?”
“I’d like to see
you.” Someone from the wedding party
hailed him, and he had to go. “Here.” He took a pen from his pocket and flipped
over my place card. “Give me your
number, will you?” When I did, he
slipped the pen and the card back in his pocket, stared at me for a few more
seconds and then went back to the wedding party table.
“I think that guy
just hit on me,” I said to my friend.
“No shit,” she
said. “When you’re done eating, we
should drag Elaine’s ass home.”
We ate and drank
some wine, had a little cake. Then, I
left, feeling fulfilled.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Predator
He considered
himself no different from any other animal that finds joy in toying with its prey before delivering it unto Death. He used only the weapons nature gave him,
and he didn’t always eat what he killed. He considered most of it practice, a
honing of skills and body.
He watched an
episode of Blue Planet that showed a
pod of killer whales stalking a blue whale and its pup, taunting the mother,
nipping at the babe. When the pup was exhausted, they toyed with the mother
until she could no longer defend her offspring. The orcas circled and jabbed,
like a pack of boxers, and when they finally separated mother and child, they
killed the pup but ate only its cheek meat – the choicest cut, so to speak. After
the orcas left, the mother whale swam around the pup for hours, nudging it.
The unspoken questions were obvious. Were the orcas
evil? Did the blue whale love her pup?
He knew that such questions had no meaning in nature. He wondered
where humans got off thinking they were evil or just or loving. Just because
they believed they had souls, because they thought themselves civilized with advanced
language skills, they were somehow better and accountable to someone’s notion
of moral standards. Ants were civilized, and they sure as hell didn’t have
ethics. Mounds often went to war with one another. Yes, he knew it was
bullshit.
When he killed, it
was because it was in his nature because he was of nature and not bound by a fabricated
sense of right and wrong. When he killed his own kind, it was no different than
the male dolphin, orangutan, or lion that slaughtered his competitors’ offspring
and mated with as many females as possible to increase the odds of leaving a
significant genetic footprint amongst the species. What he did was normal, and those who said
differently were kidding themselves.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
The Bride
Picture
her, a mixture of Vivian Leigh and Lynda Carter, with skin like
cream, large, thickly lashed eyes, and full lips. Sculpted into a
spiraling and curling work of art, her hair rivals the most intricate
of powdered wigs, but it is dark, the color of richly brewed coffee.
In the dream, I am living inside her skin.
Her gown
is white, tier upon tier
of antique lace, which rises
high, encircling her delicate throat. At
the center, she has pinned a cameo featuring the three muses. The sleeves, bodice, and skirt
overlay are a pale blue silk with a faint sheen, and it all drapes over a hoop skirt and tulle
petticoats. Under all the fabric, her
body is bare. She wears three-inch, black button-closed
boots.
She sweats
in the Caribbean summer heat, irritated that her fiancé wanted to have a
Victorian themed wedding in a tropical setting.
The ceremony and reception are over, and she waits in the shade of a
building awning, waving a lace fan at her painted face, and praying her new
husband hurries so they can adjourn to the honeymoon suite. She glances down at her ring, a fat hunk of
emerald that matches her eyes. She likes
the ring, diamonds being overrated and over-priced. The groom arrives, but she pays him little
mind other than to take his offered arm.
She
looks out across the lagoon. There
stands the collection of bamboo and grass huts that make up the honeymoon
suite. To get to it from the shore, she
must cross a plank and rope bridge. Her
feet hurt. Tired and hot, all she can
think is to get in the shade and cool of the hut and get out of the dress.
When her
husband turns back to speak with straggling well-wishers, she releases him and
starts across the bridge. She makes it
halfway. A strong wind sweeps across the
lagoon, and she stumbles. Her ankle twists,
and she falls against the rope railing.
In a comical way, she flips feet-over-head over the railing and takes a
nosedive into the lagoon.
Here,
the lagoon is already twenty or so feet deep.
She stares up at the surface of the water as she sinks. She tugs at the dress, tries to wrench off
the boots, but still sinks until she finally touches the bottom. The bottom is smooth, almost like a concrete
swimming pool but made of sugar-white sand.
She tries to push off the bottom and digs her fingers into the water as
if it could be used as a rope to pull herself to the surface, to blessed air.
When her
lungs fail and her blinding vision of the surface above goes dim, I pop out of
her body and shoot into the sky. My
spirit spreads until I am the sky. I am
the clouds, the birds, the very sun. I
watch as the people scream, and the young husband, realizing what has happened,
dives into the water. I smile down at
them, happy to be free of the dress.
Round 2
I'm starting the second round of edits on Wild Rosegarten. It's getting closer, y'all. I"m hoping the book will be out just after the first of the year.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Quickie: Stir Constantly
She sang, “‘Get back, honky
cat. Better get back to the woods. Well, I quit those days, and my redneck ways,
and I—’”
“What are you singing?” he asked,
coming into the kitchen and refilling his glass at the tap.
“Honky Cat by Elton John.”
“Never heard it.”
Her jaw dropped, then
remembering she had a custard on medium-high, she returned her attention to the
pot. “Well, I think you’re deprived if
you don’t know 70’s Elton John.” She
swirled the whisk around the pot to prevent the mixture from sticking.
Standing behind her now, he looked
over her shoulder. “What are you
making?”
“Chocolate pudding.”
“You’re making pudding. It’s not
from a box?”
“Deprived I tell you,” she
murmured. “Not from a box, and it tastes
much better.” He slid his arms around
her waist and kissed the back of her neck through her hair. “Quit it, you. I have to stir this constantly until it
boils, or it’ll burn.”
“I can smell it, but you
smell better,” he said into her ear and then nipped the lobe before running the
tip of his nose down the side of her neck.
“I’m not kidding,” she
warned and tried to shrug him away from her shoulder.
“Me either.” One hand skimmed under her shirt and under
her bra while the other wiggled down the front of her jeans. Slow, teasing revolutions, perfect tempo,
perfect combo.
Her breath hitched, her legs
tensed. She could feel him, as aroused
as she was and pressing against her lower back.
She traded her grip on the handle of the pot for a grip on the back of
his neck. Drawing him forward as she
twisted her head to the side, she took his mouth with hers. Rough, devouring kisses left her panting as
she let her head fall back to rest on his shoulder while he drove her with his
fingers.
She heard the cat meowing,
its claws clicking on the floor as he followed the scent of butter and
chocolate into the kitchen. “Shut up,
kitty,” she growled.
He laughed in her ear, and
at the sound, her body broke out in chill bumps. She arched, tilting her head back even
further until their lips could meet again.
He feasted on her – on her heat, her wetness, her moans, the way her
body vibrated and pumped, the way it responded to him. What more could a man want from a mate? She could make pudding, not from a box, and
so he smiled just before his tongue parted her lips.
She came hard, with what
started as a low guttural cry and ended as a shriek. “Did you see the cat?” he asked. “He took one look at us and scampered away.”
Breathless and dizzy, she
opened her eyes. “No. I didn’t see him.” So lost in the sense of touch, she had seen
nothing, not even the burgundy of her own closed eyelids.
He kissed the side of her
head. “I think the pudding is ruined.”
“Forget
the pudding.”
She snapped off the burner, set
aside the pot, and turned to him.
Grabbing the front of his jeans, she jerked open the button and pushed
him backward into the sink. “Now, it’s
your turn.”
Thursday, October 9, 2014
HAPPY PAWN 2
The Laptop
Jerrick
scrubbed his hands over his slick scalp then over his face. He looked at the glowing screen of the
laptop, the spreadsheet with its neat rows and columns. Numbers.
Jerrick knew numbers. Numbers were
his livelihood and his love, but if he didn’t fix this…this huge screw-up, they wouldn’t be for much
longer.
This is what he
got for buying a second-hand laptop.
This is what he got for thinking for one second he was smarter than a
djinn. Tricky bastard, he thought.
Now, he understood
the look in that girl’s eye, that skinny white girl who came charging into
Happy Pawn, babbling about a microwave and wriggling anchovies. He’d eavesdropped on that conversation enough
to decide the girl was half out of her mind.
He knew better now, just like he knew that if he went back and
complained to the old man that there was something not right with his laptop,
the old man would give him the same speech.
Besides, he’d taken his chances on other purchases that had turned out
to be not so great, although a different kind of not so great. The old man stuck to his policies: no
returns, no refunds. You buy it; it’s
yours.
The calculator was
his first purchase. The plus sign was
broken. Jerrick didn’t have the skills
to repair it, and it would’ve been almost cheaper to just buy a new one rather
than pay someone to fix it. He worked
around it by subtracting negatives.
Annoying, but it worked.
The laptop…that
was a completely other type of
broken.
Ctrl+Shift+G. A simple
typo was all it was. Jerrick intended to
use his shortcut for inserting the clip art of the company logo, but hit “G” instead of “F.” He couldn’t even remember what he’d been
working on when the smoke spewed from the innards of the laptop. He remembered thinking the thing was melting
itself and all his data, and then suddenly he was pushing up from his desk
chair, staggering back as the smoke coalesced into a heavily muscled, bluish
man with small golden horns and a long black ponytail. The man stretched out his arms and tipped his
head to Jerrick.
“How may I be of
service?”
A simple question
really, and one that Jerrick had answered in various ways. The first was to ask for infinite
wishes. The djinn had reassured Jerrick
that there was no need for this wish.
“As long as you hold the vessel,” the djinn pointed at the laptop, “I am
yours to command.”
Jerrick scrolled
down on the spreadsheet, seeing red, red, red.
He fallen into the trap, hadn’t he?
He watched those damn Wishmaster
movies. He’d read “The Monkey’s
Paw.” He knew there would be a catch,
but he also assumed he could be smarter.
He could be careful.
Now, his superior’s
secretary was dead, and he owed his accounting firm 2.6 million dollars. He’d considered going to the CEO, trying to
explain where the money went and promising to pay it back, but Jerrick knew he
could work overtime every day for the rest of his life and not pay off that
debt. Not at his salary.
It wouldn’t have
been so bad if he’d realized where the money came from before he’d spent so
much of it. He hadn’t expected the djinn
to be able to transfer money from one bank account to another. What had he been expecting? That some long-lost rich relative would die
and leave him a boatload of money? Sort
of. Okay, yes. But that didn’t happen. And then there was Leisha.
All Jerrick wanted
was for her to notice him, to notice him as a woman notices a man and not just
someone she saw every day at the office and spoke to because it was polite and
expected. What she’d become…Jerrick blinked
back tears as he remembered those first few nights together. Those nights turned into weekends, and then
suddenly Leisha wouldn’t leave. She
didn’t want Jerrick to leave, not even to go to work. He had taken a few vacation days, a sort of
dating honeymoon, and by the end of it, his entire body hurt from bites,
bruises, and overuse.
Jerrick wiped away
the tear that slipped down his cheek.
Until he made his stupid wish, she had been a lovely woman. Now, she was six feet under, after having
thrown herself off the top of his condo building.
Jerrick knew
better than to try to fix dead. He
couldn’t take back what happened to Leisha, and he would bear that mark on his
soul for the rest of his life. Which
wouldn’t be much longer if he didn’t figure out what to do about the missing
money. He couldn’t hide that much
longer, and he didn’t think he’d survive long in a federal penitentiary.
He’d already tried
bargaining with the djinn. “Put the
money back!” He screamed that sentence
again and again, but what was spent could not be unspent. Besides, didn’t his mother love her new
house? She deserved it, after raising
five kids on her own. Even so, Jerrick
had proven, once again, that you can’t get something for nothing.
He ran his damp
fingers over the keys of the laptop.
With a deep frown on his face, he typed Ctrl+Shift+G. The scent of the inferno filled his
nostrils. The smoke stung his eyes for a
moment before it swirled into a column and produced the djinn.
“How may I be of
service?” it asked.
“I don’t
know.” Jerrick looked into its strange
black-on-black eyes. “How do I fix
this?” He gestured at the screen then
spread his arms wide.
“It is not my
place to advise, only to grant what your heart desires.”
“Yeah, and how
many lives have you ruined granting wishes?”
The djinn tilted
its head in consideration. “None. No life is beyond repair.”
Jerrick laughed
bitterly at that. “Right. I brought all this on myself. I suppose you’re going to tell me that you
have no control over how the wishes are granted. Like there’s some sick, twisted god in
control of it all, and you’re just the messenger.” When the djinn gave no reply, Jerrick squared
his shoulders. “Well, you can tell whoever
is in charge that my heart’s desire if for someone to fix this! Fix the money. Fix Leisha!”
Jerrick’s face crumpled, and he pressed his hands to his eyes. “She didn’t have to die.”
“No, she didn’t,”
the djinn said. “Very well.”
****
Jerrick
jerked. The movement dragged his
steering wheel sharply to the left and sent his car swerving into oncoming
traffic. Belching curses, he yanked hard
the other direction, overcorrecting, but managing to get the car going straight
and in the proper lane.
How…what? He couldn’t think. Hadn’t he just been in his empty living room,
arguing with a djinn? He wasn’t
anymore. From the looks of things, he
was on the expressway, somewhere between the exit for work and the exit for
home.
He let out a
breath, eased back into the seat.
Something dark in the passenger seat caught his attention, and he
glanced that way. Then, he took a longer
look. There it was: the laptop. It sat there, the receipt taped to the
case. But that meant…that meant it was
August, three months before he’d been sitting in his condo and demanding the
djinn make things right.
Well, things are right now, Jerrick
thought. I can’t return it, but I won’t use it.
I won’t even turn it on.
“Yeah,” he said aloud. He nodded
in agreement with himself. He took the
exit for home with a renewed sense of hope.
He drove past the corner gas station, the old falling down houses. Sure, he’d be back in his crappy apartment in
one of the worst parts of town, but he would have his old life back. “Yeah, you sneaky sonofabitch. Won’t get me this time.” He grinned down at the laptop, and the laptop
was the last thing he saw.
****
When the cops
interviewed Muriel Shipp, she told them it was the oddest thing. She hadn’t heard a whistle blow. The lights hadn’t flashed, and the guardrails
hadn’t come down. But sure as there was
wreckage all over her lawn, the train had blown through and smashed that poor
man and his car to nothing.
Long after
everyone – police, media, nosy neighbors – had gone, Muriel went out into the
yard. There was debris everywhere, and
she wondered who she was going to get to come clean up the mess. Couldn’t count on her no-good grandkids to do
it. Well, she was old, but she could do
a few things. She went around with a
garbage bag, praying to God that she didn’t find any parts of the man. She was pretty sure the police had gotten all
they could of him. What a way to go.
Muriel was at the
edge of the yard when her foot rapped against something. Begrudging her hip, she bent down and picked
up a flat, black object. She lifted a
pair of half-moon readers to peer at it.
Why, it was one of those computer things. Muriel knew this one must have come from the
man’s car, but there wasn’t a scratch on it.
She had no use for it, but the things were worth a pretty penny.
Muriel made her
way back inside her house and slipped the laptop into a plastic grocery
bag. She’d take the bus into the city
tomorrow. She knew just the place to
take it to get the best price with no questions asked.
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